What if someone reads your journal and finds something you wrote about them. What if they are offended or hurt by what you have written?
What will happen to your journals after you die?
Will you allow someone to read them?
Here are some suggestions from a journaling group I belonged to:
"Have you ever had anyone read a journal of yours with unwonderful
results??? Yes, my husband read one of my journals early in our
marriage and was upset about something he read. I told him that my
journals are a reflection of what I am thinking and feeling at the
time that the pen is on the paper."
results??? Yes, my husband read one of my journals early in our
marriage and was upset about something he read. I told him that my
journals are a reflection of what I am thinking and feeling at the
time that the pen is on the paper."
Just because you wrote down your thoughts one day, that does not mean you have felt that way every day since then. We often write our thoughts down as a way to work through to a better mental space and heart attitude. As you write you will find your problems get exposed and resolved in your own mind.
Sometimes you don't even write down that whole process of change. You only write bits and pieces of it.
So when someone reads what you have written, they are only seeing on paper part of your thoughts. And often I write so that my nastier words don't reach other people's ears and destroy their days.
Amy went on to say:
"I actually have a disclaimer that I glue into the front cover of each of them. It says basically what I just wrote, but it also says that no matter what may show up on any single page, the overwhelming truth of my life is that I am a grateful and happy child of God doing the best I can in the midst of a busy, homeschooling, teaching, traveling, mothering, married - andsometimes discouraging and lonely life. It's all in me, so it's all in my journal."
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Here are Gail's thoughts...
Here are Gail's thoughts...
"I feel better knowing that if someone picks up a journal and begins
to read it, when they see the disclaimer, they will know that I have
given thought to the possibility that they might read it.
"I liked Amy's statement that she will be too busy in heaven to worry
about people reading her journal when she's gone. PLUS if someone
picks up our journals to read, that person will know immediately what
it is, and he/she will have to decide whether or not to continue
reading. If they read, then they must bear the burden of having
broken into our private spaces and will have to deal with the
consequences. I don't think that I owe an apology to someone who has
broken into my belongings and found something hurtful. It is breaking
and entering, isn't it???"
to read it, when they see the disclaimer, they will know that I have
given thought to the possibility that they might read it.
"I liked Amy's statement that she will be too busy in heaven to worry
about people reading her journal when she's gone. PLUS if someone
picks up our journals to read, that person will know immediately what
it is, and he/she will have to decide whether or not to continue
reading. If they read, then they must bear the burden of having
broken into our private spaces and will have to deal with the
consequences. I don't think that I owe an apology to someone who has
broken into my belongings and found something hurtful. It is breaking
and entering, isn't it???"
* * * * * * * *
I got my Grandfather's diaries after he passed away. I have read some of them. They are so interesting to read. My feeling as I read was - I wish I could ask him more questions about this. I actually asked one of my uncles about something that was written about him. His writing was so brief - but my uncle was able to explain more of what had happened to him way back when. It opened more family conversations and memories.
I read about Grandma and Grandpa's reactions when my dad and mom eloped the day before the planned wedding date. Grandpa said Grandma gave Dad an earful! I can bet - remembering how she spoke long ago...
I looked up what my Grandfather wrote about the day I was born. It was so fun to read how my dad was so excited to come and tell his parents the news about his first new baby girl. It showed me how much my Grandma helped out my mom during her first few days at home. It made me feel incredibly special to read about their reactions to my birth.
Reading about these special events and memories from long before I could remember a thing, made me feel like - no matter how much I might find out that might be negative or taken wrong, the good memories will far outweigh any negatives. I think finding a loved one's journals would be a very comforting experience for those left behind after I'm gone. A disclaimer or explanation at the beginning of each journal volume would probably serve as an adequate reminder that I was trying to work out my opinions, attitudes and longings in the best way possible. Even "working out my salvaton with fear and trembling..."
I hope that I will include enough positive remembrances in my writings that no one will think I hated them... It might even remind me to actually write down the positive things I think about other people in my life. Why do we always wait until someone is gone to say good things?
What do you think? I'd love to hear what you think you will do about your journals...
Would you consider adding a disclaimer to each of your journals? Would you want your journals to be destroyed without letting anyone read them?
Keep writing,
Debbie
Keep writing,
Debbie
